At this point in my life, most of my fear revolves around my children's future and what will become of them; just a fear of the unknown, I suppose.  My oldest boy, Andy (17 at this printing) wants to join the military.  I am behind him in this decision but it should be obvious where some of my fear comes from.  With any luck he'll be stationed in Podunk, Nebraska shucking corn, but even war isn't my only concern as my children get older.  There is so much they don't know or understand yet they, of course, believe they've got the tiger by the tail - especially my youngest, Ryan (14).  In truth, it's both ends of the spectrum:  Andy, a trusting daydreamer without much street smarts and Ryan, who mistakenly believes he's got it all figured out, regardless of what "it" may be.

I understand that worrying about everything that could happen to my boys is fruitless, unless you consider ulcers "fruit".  The random tragedies of life that come out of left field will generally be out of our children's control, but if only there were some way we could give them our life experience, maybe they could avert disaster before it struck.  It's apparent that simply telling them doesn't work.  We need some way to transfer to their minds all the things to avoid (and why to avoid them), all the things not to say (and why not to say them), all the things we did right and wrong and the lessons we walked away with.  There are dozens of social "faux-pas" that could easily be avoided if they only had the memory of doing them once already - like the quick education I got many years back when I casually said to an acquaintance at work, "Eh, so's yer mother", only to find out his mother had just passed away.  Oops.  Experiencing that kind of stupidity from a first-person point of view makes a lasting impression and unless you have Tourettes Syndrome it is not something you are likely to do again.  You need to think before you speak - speaking before you think is like peeing before you unzip; it makes everyone uncomfortable and you look like an idiot.  I'd like my kids to avoid those hazards, but telling them about my own social ineptness only elicits laughter.  They'd never make a mistake like that.

One of the unfortunate realisms of life is that scams, scoundrels and snake oil salesmen abound.  Recently the Internet gave scammers a whole new medium through which to take advantage of people .  Will my boys fall victim to any of these charlatans?  Of course they will, almost everyone does to one degree or another whether it's a mechanic, a salesman or a telemarketer.  Only firsthand experience can give you enough skepticism to avoid becoming prey for one of these greedy, lying, bottom-dwelling scumbags.  And though it's not just little old ladies who are targeted, I myself have been fortunate.  My wife Sandy is far more dubious than I when it comes to "deals and offers" - I want to believe that most people are honest at heart, she wants to find out what they're up to and why.  It's a good thing I found her.  I did lose money on e-Bay once when someone wouldn't deliver the goods I had paid for.  I consider that an $85.00 life lesson and I got off cheap.  I hope my boys do, too.

Money is a replaceable and acceptable penalty for a life-lesson, however their health and lives are not and sometimes just being in the wrong place at the wrong time can spell disaster.  While we can't prepare our kids for every eventuality, there are steps they can take that will help keep them out of trouble - or the hospital - or jail.  It's just too easy to make the simple mistake of offering someone a ride, for example - only to end up somewhere you shouldn't be with people you don't know who are doing something you don't want to be involved in.  Sure, you advise, "Just walk/drive away", but we all know that's easier said than done - especially when you already know what's coming.  The problem is that you rarely know what's coming.  You never expect the worst and you're almost always surprised by the horrible thing that just befell you.  Hindsight is usually 20/20, but foresight or insight?  Unheard of in young children and teens - and far too many adults.  Besides, even if your intentions are nothing but good, "No good deed goes unpunished" and while you don't want to raise your kid to be completely untrusting, how do you caution them where to draw the line?  And will they even bother drawing it?  Maybe they can only learn where to draw it by stepping over it once or twice in their own shoes.

As I watch things go from bad to worse with each passing decade, it's hard for me to imagine what kind of world my grandchildren will grow up in.  What kind of worries will my own children have about theirs?  New Street Drugs?  Androids Rioting in the Streets?  Alien Invasions?  Then again, maybe all this worrying is for naught - an undetected asteroid could already have Mother Earth in its crosshair and put all those thoughts and concerns to rest next week.  But it's my job; I have to worry, at least for the sake of my progeny.  I don't think I can count on unseen forces in the heavens to fix things.