Hey, what’d you have for dinner last night?  How about lunch today?  Was it nutritious?  Was it tasty?  Did it used to have lips?

If you’re like most people (Americans, anyway), you ate meat of some kind.  Steak, pork chops, lamb, fish, chicken, and turkey pretty much round out the majority of animals we consume here in the U.S.  Humans are, by nature, omnivores, meaning we eat meat and veggies – but only certain kinds of meat and veggies.  Some people eat rabbits, ducks, geese, elk, deer, and buffalo, but not nearly with the frequency they consume a T-bone, unless they live alone in the woods, in which case squirrels, chipmunks and assorted bugs get equal consideration.

There are animals, though, that most of us would never dream of eating, like skunks, dolphins or your neighbor’s cat.  Skunks couldn’t possibly taste good, dolphins are considered too smart and your neighbor owns a gun, so “Kitty Cat Casserole” is out of the question.  We generally don’t like to eat cute things, things that make us say, “Aw…”.  Intelligence is only taken into account for certain animals – pigs are reputed to be in the top five smartest animals on the planet, us included, but we kill and eat them by the millions.  Yet baby pigs are cute and they’re off-limits.  Baby calves are evidently not as cute and therefore not as fortunate: suspending them in a dark box and feeding them a steady diet of milk for a few months is apparently fine with many of us if it means enjoying a succulent meal of Veal Scaloppini.  Personally, with so much else to eat out there, I don’t need a meal provided to me in that manner, delectable or not.

Some people adhere to the “It’s just an animal, it doesn’t have feelings” philosophy in order to quiet their conscience.  Others prefer not to think about such disturbing notions as eating living, thinking creatures.  Personally, I love meat of every kind.  Our species developed through eating meat and the unfortunate reality is that all life on planet Earth consumes other forms of life or is consumed by such – it’s the natural cycle of things.

But a lot of people tend to anthropomorphize animals; in other words, imbue them with human feelings and thoughts.  I love my cat, but he does not think like I do.  I cannot truly believe he is thinking in coherent words and phrases while meowing for food, though it often appears to be so (“Daddy!  Daddy!  I’m so hungry!  Where’s my food?!  Please feed me, Daddy, or I’m gonna die! Iloveyou-Iloveyou-Iloveyou!  Feed me!!!”)  I strongly believe he has thoughts, but not complicated ones like you or I.  I believe his brain runs on basal emotions, instinct and repeated behavioral patterns and feedback and an excellent memory – in essence, a significantly simpler version of our own brain.  But a slightly more complicated version than that of, say, a cow.

So then it’s OK to kill cows by the millions – because they’re simple-minded.  That doesn’t feel right, though, does it?  So how do we come to terms with the slaughter of them and so many other semi-sentient beings?  Our friend the pig probably tops the list of “cerebral” things we eat, while clams and scallops bring up the rear.  If it’s all right to eat animals that exhibit complex reasoning skills (our pig buddies, for example), why stop there?  Elephants are not only very smart, they have huge stores of meat inside them.  Where are all the elephant farms?

So what is an enlightened person to do?  Give up meat altogether and subsist on plants and grasses?  Believe it or not, plants hold enough proteins, fats and other essentials to sustain strong, happy human beings.  Vegan bodybuilders prove that plants can do the job just as well as meat can; so do all the plant-eaters of the animal kingdom – you just need to eat more of it.  Cattle maintain a steady diet of nothing but grass and corn, yet they grow up big and strong with very delicious – I mean developed - muscles.  But who really wants to eat Seaweed Stew, Roast Rack of Lilacs or Tofu anything-at-all?