As you’re probably aware, we lost a comedic genius recently with the passing of the legendary George Carlin.  His outspoken observational commentary inspired generations to look at the world from his slightly skewed angle along with providing millions of people much needed, stress-relieving laughter.  His was a voice of the ages.

I considered writing my own little eulogy of sorts, my own “Thank you” for Carlin’s contributions to my own outlook on life, but when I thought of his reaction to such a sugary essay, I quickly changed my mind.  I could almost hear him berating me for wasting your time in an effort to extol his meritorious virtues to you all.  I’m sure he’d have preferred I fill the space with powerful words of wisdom, or some long-forgotten proverbial insights – but I don’t have any of those.  Instead, I offer you George’s powerful words and insights:

• The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal”, “Thou shalt not commit adultery”, and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.
• I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don’t have as many people who believe it.
• I don't think we should be governing ourselves. What need is a king, and every now and then if the king’s not doing a good job, we kill him.
• There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
• The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
• I don’t have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
• As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
• I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together are certain death.
• The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in the opposite direction.
• One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.
• Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn’t mean the circus has left town.
• Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
• Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
• If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.
• Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
• I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven’t tried that for a while. Maybe this time it’ll work.
• Always do whatever’s next.
• Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
• If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
• I’m not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose… it’ll be much harder to detect.
• In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.
• You can prick your finger, but don’t finger your…
• You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
• Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
• When you’re born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America, you get a front row seat.
• Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
• The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”
• Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
• I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
• These days many politicians are demanding change. Just like homeless people.
• Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.
• Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.
• Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
• Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
• Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
• I’m always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I’m listening to it.

George Carlin: brilliant comedian, savvy actor, masterful writer, deep thinker.  Thanks for all the great memories and laughter through the years, George - you will be sorely missed.